Engaging In Tricky Conversations

Engaging In Tricky Conversations

Tricky conversations are never easy. Difficult conversations can be challenging to navigate. It’s normal for your heart to race or for you to start sweating when they happen.

Tricky conversations are part of the workplace, but this doesn’t mean you can’t get better at them.

As a VIP Communications Pass holder, this article is packed with extra tips and tools to show you how to be a more confident communicator, including videos, downloadable tips, step-by-step instructions, and more! 

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VIP Communications Pass: Engaging In Tricky Conversations

1. TACT Framework

The TACT framework is a structured way of approaching your conversation so it's clear, straightforward, and honest. When you structure your speaking this way, it shows you're being proactive, which keeps your credibility intact.

TACT Framework:

• T - Turn Your Thinking Around - When things don't go as planned, you may default to a fight or flight mode. You may try to troubleshoot the problem alone. You may even react quickly without thinking about how you can adequately address it. When you turn your thinking around, you are giving yourself the space to pause and think.
• A - Articulate The Process - This means thinking about where you think things started to go wrong. You may ask yourself, What exactly went wrong, and what were the bigger influences at play? Articulating the process is how you can ensure you are providing accurate information to your team so they can better help you solve the problem. 
• C - Communicate Solutions - The ability to maintain credibility and build trust is to provide solutions. When you do that, you're showing your critical thinking skills. If you don't have a solution, communicating your thought process is a way to show you're thinking in real-time. 
• T - Talk It Out Together - Problems aren't meant to be solved alone. Maintaining credibility means creating the space where people can troubleshoot together. Talking it out means posing questions like, "So, what do you think?" While sometimes implied, just asking this question can be the doorway to more insightful solutions. 

Building trust at work means being able to engage in tricky conversations when things don't go as planned. 

 

2. Stay Calm

Often, tricky conversations catch us off guard, leaving little time to prepare. Even so, there are several strategies we can use to stay calm and maintain control of the situation.

Consider the following:

• Repeat - When we’re asked a tricky question, it’s easy to jump in with the first response that comes to mind. Instead, taking a moment to repeat or rephrase what the person said gives you time to understand their question better and think carefully about how you want to respond. For example, you might say, “What I hear you asking is XYZ — is that right?” or “Are you asking if I can do XYZ?” Repeating the question helps you stay calm, clarify the situation, and shape a more thoughtful, positive response.
• Pivot – It’s important to remember that you are in control. You can guide the direction of the conversation. One way to do this is to pivot and redirect the discussion. For example, you can respond with a question of your own or smoothly move on to a different topic. The key is to keep the pivot positive and avoid sounding defensive.
• Reframe – Reframing means taking the theme of someone’s question and shifting the focus to a related point within that same topic. This way, it doesn’t feel like you’re avoiding the question, because you’re still addressing the general subject they raised. For example, if someone asks about an investigation, you can respond by speaking only to the parts you feel comfortable discussing, while still staying within the broader theme.

Repeating, pivoting, and reframing can help you stay calm and maintain control when handling tricky conversations.

 

3. Your Approach

When you need to have a difficult conversation, it’s important to be thoughtful about your approach. In other words, how will you start the conversation? To help avoid unnecessary conflict, keep these strategies in mind as you prepare for your next difficult discussion.

Consider the following:

• Be Honest – Sometimes showing a little vulnerability can help ease any tension before a tough conversation. You might say something like, "I’m feeling a bit nervous bringing this up." Being open and honest sets a more respectful tone, making it less likely that either side will become defensive.
• Sandwich Method – The sandwich method is a technique for approaching a tricky conversation with a positive tone. It starts by offering something positive about the person or their work, followed by the feedback or issue that needs addressing, and then ends with another positive remark. This approach is constructive when delivering negative feedback to a team member.
• Diffuse A Defensive Reaction – Consider why someone might get defensive before you speak, and start with a positive that directly addresses and counters that potential reaction. For example, if you need to discuss your manager's leadership approach, they might become defensive immediately. However, if you begin by saying, "I think you're a really great manager," it helps lower their defenses by acknowledging their strengths upfront. Yes, giving feedback is important, but how you approach the conversation matters.

Remember, the goal is to have a constructive conversation, even if it's a difficult one. Focus on your approach and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If you’d feel defensive, chances are they might too. So, adjust your approach to be softer if needed.

The key to navigating tricky conversations is to avoid reacting defensively. Instead, take a moment to gather your thoughts and respond in a way that reframes the negative question into a positive statement.

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